Project365: Day 40 -- Red

Neither wind,
Nor rain,
Nor sleet,
Nor snow--

Neither season's change,
Nor the ground below...

Can prevent you from existing,
As that which you know.

Ramblings: Am I Too Naughty for my Friends?

Ok, a quick post about my friends, Gary, DB (Dark Beauty), Wyatt and Peter....

Well, I went to Peter's house last night after the game...sort of an after Superbowl party. It was really late...I didn't much want to go, as I was really in the mood to write and do some research for other projects. However, Gary and DB both called and texted me...telling me to get over there...and later asking what the hell was taking me so long.

First of all, I don't much like to go out or stay out late on Sunday. And this was the case...since it was after 7pm. I finally decided to go since I had not seen DB for a couple of weeks. I bought some beer and showed up. Everyone was karaoking...same damn songs I'm tired of...lol. So I opened a beer, and hung out in the kitchen--had a sandwich...as there was a platter on the counter.

My friend Gary and DB both had an attitude. Kind of like "Oh...nice of you to finally show up." Geez, friends can get so pissy if you ruffle the status quo. The real point of this post was to share with you my surprise when Gary mentioned to me that I was a little out of control last Wednesday when I was asking "Brandy" to come home with me, lol. This was the night after my meetup with "R"--when I was still all sexxed up. What do you expect?

Anyway, Gary and I were both flirting with the same young woman that evening. Now...I had never considered that Gary & I would ever be in competition...but he seemed to see it that way, at least the way I perceived what he was saying...and his tone as he was saying it. Then he mentioned something about the woman from a few weeks previous to that! It went something along the lines of "Yah! You were trying to kidnap her and take her home....(he shakes head), just like you did with the other blonde from a couple of weeks ago!" I said, "Huh...what are talking about?" (I was hoping he didn't really remember much, but that was not the case.)

Gary: "Oh, you know what I'm talking about!" Me: (starts laughing, giggling, actually...a guilty laugh.) Good God...if he only knew that after he went home that night...Peter and I took Brandy to Peter's place and we all had fun! There' s no way I can tell Gary about that, especially after he told me that she was his date earlier in the day at the Superbowl party he went to!!! I was thinking...."Oh shit...! This could get ugly!" LOL. Yah...and was laughing at the same time. Why? Mostly at the web and how it was weaving itself. Am I bad? No...not trying to hurt anyone or get in anyone's way. However, I still don't think he would appreciate knowing that I "had" her...and he hasn't, and may never.

Well, about the time this was going on between us, DB walked out, and looked at me. She said something like "nobody is gonna have my bitch". Okay...maybe I didn't quite hear it...but I didn't inquire as I was not in the mood. These two were just pissing me off this evening...lol. So I stayed in the kitchen visiting other guests while they went into the rec room to karaoke.

Oh, and Peter? He was as smooth as butter. His girlfriend was there. Little did she know that Peter looks forward to getting a peek at my tits any chance he can. OMG. This was getting crazier and crazier. So he was acting very cool....like nothing ever happened. Yet last Wed., Peter and I brought Brandy to his place and the 3 of us all spent a good 2 hours together in a spare room of his! So there were numerous deceptions and levels of deceptions all occurring right before my very eyes. It was amazing to witness...and even more so now as I recall it.

The point? I guess I had never considered that there would be things I would have to keep from my very closest friends. But perhaps I am more of a loner and strange creature than I had realized. I will never take, force, or manipulate covertly. I will do it with your consent, or not at all. So I've nothing to feel badly about. I will be the friend they need, as long as it does not go against my natural grain. If the time comes that it does, we will part ways. I hope it is not any time soon, or ever....

With Love, A.

p.s. Never, and I mean NEVER...will anyone force me to be anything I am not. They will only bring out what I am, already...inside. That which is waitng to be released.

Project365: Day 39 -- Darkness

Perhaps the darkness

need not be feared.
Perhaps it is a safe place to hide...
Until the light reappears

once more,

And we can emerge

as we always were.

Project365: Day 38 -- Puddles

The rain left puddles...

Reflecting the sky,

And what was above.

I looked into one puddle

And saw my Chinese Wisteria.

It is bare now,

But still beautiful...

Because I see what it will become.

First Meetup with "R"

Well, I finally had a first meeting with "R". He is the man I spoke about in last week's post about "Search for Dominance". We met last Wednesday evening for a couple of hours.

Now, we had been talking about meeting Wed. later in the evening, but he told me on Tuesday that his boss might be joining him on his business trip, and this would throw a wrench into our plans. Well, on Wednesday afternoon I spoke to R, and he said his boss was definitely joining him. He said our late date wouldn't work since he had to pickup his boss from the airport at 9:30pm. So we decided to make it an early date then, and that would free him up later to get his boss from the airport.

Well, this was ruined my plans for a hair cut and color right after work; however, I cancelled my appointment and scheduled it for the following week, then I rushed home after work to get prettied up. Since he was already in town, we decided he should come to me...and we would meet near my house. This gave me a little more time with the short notice for an early date.

We decided to meet at a local beer bar in my area...where it was nice and quiet. I got home, got cleaned up, and headed to where we would meet. I was showered, shaved, lotioned up, perfumed up...dressed up...lol. Oh...and since the time factor was as issue...he said I didn't need to worry about wearing special lingerie as requested. So this put less pressure on me. I did, however, put on something nice...just in case.

So I walked in, and recognized him right away. He was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt. I had on jeans and a black shirt, with black sweater, lol. Well, my first impression was....he looks just like a regular guy. Not sure what I expected. Maybe that he would look mysterious, powerful, hypnotic, alluring, sinister? No...he just looked like an average man that would be in a bar having a beer. He was shaved almost bald...smooth face. Fairly decent looking, but I didn't feel an overwhelming attraction right away. This is the problem with having preconceived ideas about someone. The reality rarely matches the fantasy. For some reason I think I expected to be drawn in by him at first moment of eye contact.

Anyway, we had one beer...he told me we only had time for one...then we would go to my place. I did like his confidence. This is a crucial trait for me to have in a man. I find it extremely arousing, and this is exactly the effect it had on me. He was seducing me, and I was loving it. And I was to find out he is very good at it, too.

So, after more chit-chat, I was comfortable enough with him to consider having him come over. We walked out, and were thinking about maybe stopping somewhere for a bite to eat, as he said he was getting hungry. I suggested getting some food, and he said, "Oh, I want something more than I want food." Hehe...I liked that. I smiled...I knew what he meant, but pretended to be demure.

So he walked me to my car and pinned me against it...then moved in close, one arm around my waist, one around my neck, and pulled me in for a kiss. Very soft and gentle. Then some kissing on my neck. Okay...that's it. If you kiss my neck right...I'm pretty much putty in your hands. I was getting very excited not just by his amazing kissing technique, but the fact that he was ballsy and seducing me with his will. He KNEW he was...and that was turning me on the most.

He told me firmly, yet gently, to get in the car and he would follow me. I did as told...well, I wanted to. It was arousing being told what to do as well. So I drove to my place, he followed; we parked and went in. He sat on the couch and I got a beer for myself, as he didn'twant one. I turned the lights down, turned on some music, and lit some candles. Then I joined him on the couch. I was both nervous and excited to see what would happen next.

Well, it didn't take long before he started kissing me again...touching my neck, licking it...kissing it with his lips...mmmmm. Then my face, lips...ears, too...God...melting, that's what I was doing. His hands started roaming to my breasts...touching lightly over my shirt, until eventually he reached down and took my shirt off over my head. He pinched my nipples through my bra while he was kissing me, then reached in to fondle me. Finally he unsnapped my bra and I removed it. He kissed my breasts played with them. I was very turned on. Next he started unbuckling my belt, zipping down my jeans. I stood up...jeans were pulled off, and I stepped out of them. I stood there for a moment in my panties, not knowing what to do next. I wanted him to do it all. And he did--he manuevered me back on the couch, laying me back on pillows-..and got between my legs.

He started playing with me slowly...my panties were wet. Just stroking the outside, and looking at me, as I looked at him and what he was doing. I was breathing very deeply already. After a bit he removed them and wasted no time putting his tongue on me. Oh...he knew what he was doing, too. And then the fingers started playing and probing at the same time the tongue was licking and flicking. At one point he reached up and put his hand firmly around my throat. Not very hard...didn't hurt or cause any difficulty breathing, but it was firm enough to drive me fucking crazy with lust and into some kind of erotic high. Have never had anyone do that to me before--now I know something else that turns me on.

So he kept going until I was well pleased, as he could tell by my moaning, breathing, whimpering, screaming, jerking, etc. Then he came up and kissed me...said "Taste yourself in my kiss," then kissed me and gave me his tongue. Yup, lots of juice. His face was wet, and I tasted myself on his tongue! After a long passionate kiss, he went back down...wow...thought I was done, but I just kept responding. I told him how I liked it, and he obliged. I love when a man appreciates suggestions and uses them. When I finally had to squirm away and couldn't catch my breath any more...he stood up and stripped in front of me as I sat up on the couch.

He got right in front of my face and I knew what he wanted. I was examining his nakedness as I raised my hands to hold him. I couldn't believe he was completely blonde in that area. He was trimmed, not shaved. It matched his very blonde body hair. So after looking, admiring, and fondling him...I got busy. I always like to start at the balls, take my time licking and sucking while I hold the shaft up out of the way, maybe stroke it a little. Then I worked my way up...little by little, to the head eventually..using my tongue, lips, mouth, teeth. All of a sudden he pushed me back down and got between my legs again. Mmmmm, didn't expect this again so soon! It put me on fire. He paid me a lot of attention, and I came multiple times again. I was already spent.

When I had to push him away and squirm away yet again...he stood up...and I sat up. He said, "I'm going to come in your mouth." Wasn't a request...it was a statement--and it was a huge turn on. "And it's going to be a big load." So he wasn't going for finesse this time. He just put his cock up to my mouth, I took the head in, and he pushed himself in the rest of the way, palm holding the back of my head. Not forceful, but firmly. Enough to say...I'm doing this and you're gonna accept it. Again...very erotic...very hot...this power play. He said, "I'm gonna come"...and before I knew it, I got a big hot load in my mouth! Damn, it was a lot! Never had that much...so he wasn't kidding. Anyway..I let it all dribble out, down my chin and onto my breasts and all over the place.! I let some go back onto his cock, and my hand....so I could keep stroking til he was completely done.

I said, "You weren't kidding....that WAS a lot." He said, "I told you. And that's the second one today, too." He looked at me and noted that it was time for him to head to the airport. He saw the question in my eyes and said..."I'm not going to fuck you. You don't get it this time. Next time." I made a bit of a pouty face, to which he responded "Next time". I was somewhat surprised that someone would withhold sex! I have not been denied very often, and it was a different feeling! Not that I needed it, as I was well satiated, but I have always known that I COULD have it if I wanted to. And this person was saying NO. I still can't really define how that made me feel. Not rejected, but somewhat out of control...which I guess was his whole purpose...to have the control himself.

I nodded my acceptance, we got cleaned up and dressed. He needed to head off to the airport to pick up his boss. He asked me what plans I had...and I said I didn't know. He said, "You're going to go out, aren't you?" I said I didn't know...and he said...'You will...." I HAD been thinking about it, yes, since I was dressed, hair done...make-up done (well mostly now) ...I was way to wound up to just stay in! So after he left, I cleaned up and finished my beer. Right about that time, my friend Gary texted me from the pub, asking where the heck I was. I texted him back to say I was on my way.

So yes, I DID go out, and I was still sexxed up and even more horny because of what just happened. I do think it's true that the more you get, the more you want...as far as sex anyway. I felt predatory this evening...I wondered if being denied at the end fueled me somehow.

What happened next when I got to the pub was the highlight of my experiences thus far. You can read about it in the next post....

With Love,
A.